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Please snail mail anything you would like to send to Dr. Jann Blackstone to the Bonus Families office at:

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3 Responses

  1. Rieyaad

    Doc is it ok for my ex wife to allow the kids to sleep out as they like. When I raise this concern then I hear “it’s her weekend and parenting and i should not question it” I don’t want to cause conflict between us and feel we can still work things out or can we? I was with her for 17 years and she then said she needs space and need to do her? Should I wait or adept it’s over?

    1. Jann

      Truth is, kids like to spend the night at their friend’s homes and it maintains a sense of normalcy if they are allowed to do that. Most often kids spend the night at friends’ homes on the weekends so their a school week is not disrupted. It would be ideal if you could calmly discuss things and be on the same page, but if you disagree, ultimately if it’s the children’s time with her, she makes her the final decision, just as you would if the children are scheduled to be with you. Neither of you can parent from afar, nor can you dictate policy. That’s not Co-parenting. I would suggest you sit down together and agree upon a forum for conflict resolution. How will you problem solve if you disagree? Figure it out and put it into place. There’s a parent contract in this website. Key word: contract. Start there and fine tune it to your specific needs.

    2. Jann

      I have to say–I reread your question and I now believe you are asking about staying over night amidst this pandemic. The answer I gave you was a general response about co-parenting. I think if you asked any professional that question they would say spending the night outside of the immediate family would not be using good judgment at this time. Most co-parents are even questioning whether the children should continue going back and forth between the parents’ homes, let alone outside of the immediate family. Normally, I might say grandma and grandpa’s home might be ok, but if they are elderly, that might not even be good judgment. Consulting a doctor working with COVID patients, he said that children are more prone to be asymptomatic, but still can pass on the virus. It may not be serious for them, but if a senior with preexisting conditions catches it from an asymptomatic child, that’s a problem.

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